Main | Sunday, January 01, 2006

Overheard In Fort Lauderdale

The Ramrod

Leatherman: "Is there anything more depressing than wasting $50 and 4 hours of your Saturday night.... and the hottest person at the baths is YOURSELF?"

Bill's Filling Station

Bear #1: "Honey, nobody has seen you in forever! You are looking so great! Everybody's saying so!"

Bear #2: "Thank you! You're so sweet! It's because I've been a slave for almost two years now, and I'm so happy with my Master. It's so freeing when you finally belong somewhere."

Bear #1: "And that would be chained to the bed, I assume?"


Twinkie: (waving money at the muscular bartender) "Hey, there! Hello? Please tell me you love me. I need somebody to love me right now!"

Bartender (straining to hear over music): "WHAT? You need what?"

Twinkie: "I need you to love me!"

Bartender: "I don't even know you. How could I love you?"

Twinkie: "What do you need to know?"

Bartender: "How old are you?"

Twinkie: "I just turned 18!"

Bartender: "Hello, my love."


Patron in the bathroom line: "Man! This party has been amazing! All these hot circuit boys! And it's already 4AM and they haven't had to call a SINGLE ambulance!"

Other patron: "Give it time, honey. Give it time."

Club Steel

Bartender to customer: "I'm having a problem with your boyfriend, in the liking department."


Drunk guy: "Hey man, your friend is so fucking hot. You gotta hook us up!"

Other guy: My friend? Which one?

Drunk guy: I don't care!


Guy At Bar: "How come you haven't been dancing? You're not digging the music?"

Other Guy: "Um...I think we could probably put the last three hours of music on a disc, take it down to Guantanamo, broadcast it over the prison PA.... and we'd have those Al Qaedas begging to confess."

(Disclosure: I am Other Guy.)

The Ramrod

Customer: "Hey can you play a song for me? I heard it on the radio today and it totally rocks."

DJ: "What's it called?"

Customer: "Well, I don't the name of it, but you've got to have it. It's by a black girl and it's about love.

comments powered by Disqus