Fish

Virgin Megastore, Times Square, Monday 8PM

Me: Excuse me, can you tell me what that song was that just ended?

Clerk (bored): I wasn't listening, sorry.

Me: Oh, well can I find out? Is that a DJ up there?

Clerk (rolling eyes): I can call up and ask. What was the song?

Me (unnecessarily sarcastic): Well, if I knew that we wouldn't need to call the DJ.

Clerk (Delivers unblinking stare. Long pause): OK. How did it go?

Me: Um, it says something about "I wanna draw you a fish." I heard it in Florida last year and-

Clerk (interrupting): I wanna draw you a fish?

Me: Yeah.

Clerk: Right. OK. I'll ask. (wanders away)

Ten minutes later, the clerk returns, smirking merrily.

Me: Did you find out?

Clerk: Yeah, actually it's called "I Want To Call You My Bitch."

Me (shrinking): Oh.

Clerk (laughing): What did you think it was? I want to draw you a fish? Ha, ha, ha!

Me: I never said that.

Clerk: Ha, ha, ha! Fish.