A Letter From ChristWire.com

The author of the ChristWire piece on Andre Bauer that I linked to yesterday sends this letter.

Dear Joe,

A friend forwarded your article to me and I was thrilled at first because, with your blog's name, I thought you might be a man of the cloth. Instead I find that you are gallivanting around in the most inappropriate of cloths, both literally and figuratively. Your leather-clad persona surely is a fearsome sight to behold and I pray for the mothers and families in your community who quiver at the mere mention of you. Do you care one iota for your neighbors? Probably not, when you engage in all night sex raves with that awful club music. I'm sure many a neighbor has wanted to call the police on you but was too afraid to be labeled a "homophobe" by the thought officers now running this country (or to see the herd of naked hairy Village People-styled men shepherded out of your dwelling in front of the glare of police lights and news cameras for curious children to witness from their bedroom windows.)

On another note, your figurative cloths- and by that I mean your words-- the posts on your blog, show your horrendous liberal bias, dry humping every news story on special gay rights. Do the gays really read that much news? I do not believe most are literate or sober enough to make it through a text message, let alone an article on Diana Ross (really?) or the fact that even a few democrats like Moakley see the evils of DOMA, and not just for political expediency in a highly Catholic state. That's where your haven of horniness, Provincetown, is located, correct? (By the way, I am Heterosexual.) You clearly could not support yourself writing such filth for the dozen or so homosexuals out there who aren't lurking on Craig's List or Man Hunting.com for some virile young man to pounce on like a pack of deranged dogs thrilled by the scent of innocence and Dove soap, new Nikes and a tank top. Oh you are disgusting.

In love and prayer,

Stephenson Billings, Investigative Journalist

I get so many emails like this, I was into the second paragraph before I got it. Love it. Move over Betty Bowers, you've got stiff competition.